How She Turns Industry Pressure Into Power

It’s such an interesting juxtaposition to be a confident woman but an insecure artist, and I think that came from being thrown into the industry so quickly. I didn’t know “ICY Girl” was going to take off the way it did. Although it was a blessing, the challenges that came with it were very difficult, because I had a hot song but was being thrown on stage with no artist development. While I was just happy to be there, the first time I hit those stages I was getting torn apart online. I was like, wait, hold on—”I’m just happy to be here, let me get there.”

Especially with the times we’re in, people may not realize they’re really affecting your mental health. They’re just trying to get a hit tweet or create a humorous moment, but it can really impact a young person’s mind. When I first started, I was confused. Even though I had made it, the success didn’t come with the emotions I thought was attached to it. I expected to be happier, more fulfilled, but instead it left me feeling very empty because I didn’t feel respected.

 We’re at a place in time where the Internet is helpful and also hurtful. 

No, it threw me off. But one thing I will pat myself on the back for is that I never backed down from a challenge. So if anything, it just made me mentally tough.

It gave me a lot of mental strength. Now, when I see things, it just brushes off my shoulder. I’m happy that I never brought those emotions to Twitter or Instagram, oh my gosh, I would be a mess. I do deal with those struggles and challenges internally, but I really just alchemize it.

I turn negatives into positives and build myself up to be a stronger woman.

 How do you feel like new artists should use the Internet?

Honestly, I feel like with any new artist coming in, it’s all about connecting with your fans, talking to them, and building a real relationship because that’s all they want, they just want to get to know you. Shout out to those new artists and shout out to the doors being opened.

Yes, the internet comes with a lot of negativity, but it also comes with a lot of positives. It’s allowed so many artists who probably wouldn’t have had the opportunity otherwise. I’m hoping for the best in their careers, but connecting with your fans is really important because those are the people who are going to support you throughout your career.

When you were writing and recording, were there moments you felt like you were pushing yourself out of your comfort zone creatively?

When I was writing music to rap in my car, there was no stress, no pressure. The flow of creativity and energy was so fluid, and I wasn’t worried about proving myself or comparing myself to anything. It was just fun, doing it for the sake of it.

But through the waves of the industry, it’s easy to get into a mindset of constantly trying to prove yourself. That can steal the joy out of writing when it becomes too heavy. Healthy challenges are important, but when writing stops being fun, it sucks the art out of the reason why you’re dong it.

There have been highs and lows in my writing, but I’ve learned it’s easiest when I’m being honest and just having fun. I prefer to write by myself at home, I don’t like writing in a studio. I’ve tried and been successful there, but because I grew up writing poetry in my room or dorm, in safe spaces where I could feel free, that’s where I write the best. 

Where do you make music to be listened to? Do you think it’s best for the car? Best for headphones? Or best for the crib?

I think my music is best served when my icy boys and icy girls need inspiration. From the feedback I get, they’re listening to it while applying for college, getting over a bad breakup, at the gym, doing their makeup, or on the way to the club. So I think it’s subjective, depending on the vibe you’re going for and the inspiration you need.

 So what I’m hearing is that your music is like more for empowerment.

It definitely is. And when I hear those stories, I know I’ve served my purpose, because that’s what I’m here for. “ICY GIRL” really set the tone, it was inspirational and aspirational, basically a list of manifestations that came true.

When you think about “pressure,” is it more about proving something to the industry—or proving something to yourself?

That’s a good question. I believe being under pressure was really about proving to myself that I could do it. I’ve reinvented myself so many times, dropped so many EPs, yet there’s no album. I wanted to prove to myself that I could show up for myself, that I could write these songs, collaborate, and still feel inspired. That’s where “I Need Some Inspo” came from.

I was lacking creativity and inspiration, I wasn’t feeling fulfilled with anything. But, as I began to just live life and explore the simple things that make me happy, I found inspiration in that.

How do you balance the confident Saweetie that the world sees with the more vulnerable parts of yourself that fans might not always see?

For me, dealing with confidence comes down to working hard, going to the gym, taking vocal lessons, attending dance rehearsals. I believe if I put in the work, it’ll pay off. That’s my healthiest regimen, and I have to be really disciplined in that.

Discipline sounds easier than it is. You can say it, but are you really going to do it? That’s what I have to tell myself. Sometimes, if it’s the third day of rehearsal and I feel confident, on the fourth day I’m like “Do I really want to go?” And it’s like, “no b—ch, go to rehearsal.”

I have these conversations with myself in the car, in the mirror, I really have to talk to my inner child who’s like, “okay, I got it. Time to go have fun.” While the more mature side of me is like, “No, you have a goal. Stick to this regimen so it’ll pay off.”

Do you ever feel like the industry tries to box you in because of how you look or your image? How do you fight back against that?

I think the best way to fight against being put in a box, others may have different opinions, is to avoid being in too many camps. When people don’t really know you, they can’t bring out your best art.

Right now, I’m happy to say I’ve found a selective group of people I really want to work with when it comes to music. The best way to take yourself out of a box is to create a safe environment in the studio so you can explore different lanes authentically. I feel like when you see a lot of great artists, the formula is working with people who know them really well.

Looking back at “ICY GRL” and now at HELLA PRESSURE, what do you think has been your biggest personal transformation as an artist?

I think it’s the evolution of an Icy Girl becoming a Diamond Woman. The world and my fans have literally seen me grow up in my music career, I was the Icy Girl. But through the wins, losses, and lessons, I’ve taken those experiences of being under pressure. And what does a diamond do under pressure? She shines.

What lessons about resilience and self-confidence came directly out of the process of making this project?

The biggest thing I learned from Hella Pressure and resilience is just showing up for yourself. It so simple, but in those moments when you want to stay home, cancel your day, or you just wanna say “I’ll do that later,” if you build a routine of showing up for yourself, it becomes habitual.

For me, that’s the premise of being resilient. It’s the little things that matter, they eventually add up to you achieving your goals and capturing whatever success looks like in your own mind. Just show up for yourself.

Has there ever been a moment when you felt the pressure was too much?

There was a moment where the pressure was a lot. It was a very lonely phase in my life and career. I wasn’t getting the results I wanted, and I felt like no one really understood me. There were so many simultaneous conflicts I was dealing with.

 You know, when you just don’t wanna talk about what you’re going through because it, just really like adds a problem?

Yeah.

I just internalized so many events that were affecting me in a negative way, and I just didn’t express myself because I didn’t wanna continue to relive those moments.

Do you think the pressures you’ve faced have made you stronger, or do they sometimes come at the expense of joy?

I think that we go through pressure at the expense of joy if we don’t have a village. I think anything is possible with a team or a village of people who love you, who you can trust.

There were moments in my career where I did have to talk to my mom or my dad, and after I talked to them, I just felt so much better. I think that finding your group, finding your community, is really important when pursuing anything in life. Life has its challenges, but it’s not really about the challenge, it’s about how we show up and how we overcome those things.

Villages are really important, and I feel like as long as you have a support system, the expense is not that expensive.

You’ve been in the game for seven years and continue to make cultural waves. What does longevity mean to you, and how do you measure success now versus when you first started?

It’s the ability to be relevant over a period of time, consistently.

The most gratifying thing for me is being able to see my influence even when I’m not on the scene. Even in moments where I didn’t feel seen, I was being seen through other people, through brands, through rollouts, and through content pieces. I’m just like, “you know what girl? You are doing your job even if you’re not at work.”

Beyond this project, how are you continuing to transform pressure into purpose in your life and career?

One of my challenges in life and in my career is that I’ve always looked for external fulfillment in my creativity, because I’d be unsure of myself. And that creates pressure, both internally and externally, because if I can’t fulfill myself and I’m looking for it in other places, it’s very dissatisfying.

I relate this to the character in the book: The Alchemist. When this Alchemist  is on a journey looking for a treasure, constantly looking. When he finally finds it, he realizes that what he was looking for, he always had. That’s where I am in my career. Instead of seeking validation or approval from anything else, just doing it for myself because that’s when I wrote “ICY GIRL.”

I was in a room with no furniture, just a mattress and a loveseat my mom gave me. I was writing something I liked, and that’s where pressure turns into purpose. Pressure can be used in a healthy way if you alchemize it into purpose. Pressure can also make you crazy, can have you questing yourself like, “Am I supposed to be doing this?” But if you approach challenges with the spirt of “I’m going to turn this into something positive,” because that’s what an alchemist does, they transmute things into things of value.

Being an artist is weird. You create music for yourself, but the music you create for yourself is also for others to enjoy—because if they don’t like it, you can’t really progress.

What’s interesting is that as long as you stay true to you, you’ll slowly build up that fan base that identifies with you. Eventually, that moment comes when the artist explodes. It’s really  imperative for artists to make music for themselves because their people will find them. 

Chasing a hit, which I’ve done — I don’t think that’s authentic. That’s what dilutes the art and creates cookie-cutter songs where everyone starts sounding like each other. I’m proud of this EP because I got to explore sounds that I didn’t have a chance to, because I didn’t wanna take that risk. And that’s what I did with EP, I took risks.